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I e-mailed and he wrote back, “I had fun making out with you—if you’re ever up for some more fun, let me know.” So then I knew that’s all he really wanted. So what’s the difference between hooking up with a fetishist and just hooking up with someone casually?He wasn’t like, “Hi, I’m a fetishist,” he just wants to have sex with random plus-size women. Is someone who likes plus-size girls a fetishist just because his preference isn’t mainstream?
It makes such an obvious statement—that no one would ever find me attractive because of my weight.
I guess it’s hard to say to somebody, “I have a great girl for you, but she’s fat—are you okay with that? People are image-conscious, and it takes a very secure man to advertise his preference for a woman of size.
No matter how many magazines start featuring plus-size women, in mainstream white culture, a woman who’s heavy isn’t considered as attractive as a woman who’s not.
He kept saying over and over, “I think you’re beautiful.” My first instinct was, This is a joke, someone put him up to it—which says a lot about where I was at that point. Experience, age and understanding that a lot of people attracted to me because of (or in spite of) my size takes away some of the nervousness I used to feel on dates. I was trying to move over him, and he said, “Your weight is hurting me.” That brought me back to reality. I was wearing a new outfit and these really hot tights, and in one fell swoop, he brought me down a little bit.
I was surprised because we’d never talked about my size being an issue.